I am NOT my feelings| When and how to navigate your feelings

This is something that seems to keep coming up recently, for me and for several people in my life. How do you navigate feelings that seem to CONSUME you?Аналитический материал загородного рынка недвижимости июль 2011.


Feelings are a beautiful, wonderful and natural thing. We hear so much about how great it is to be in tune with your feelings. To be unfeeling is seen as a negative and to be able to express your feelings is something most people work toward.

For some of us, feeling is an ALLLLLL the time thing, something we wish we could disconnect from. So, what do you do or how do you handle it when your feelings seem to be running the show?

It can seem almost IMPOSSIBLE sometimes to control how you feel. Over time I have learned some things which have helped me immensely and maybe they will help you!

Be aware

First, figure out HOW you are feeling. Sometimes I think I am anxious about something and when I really take a step back and ask myself how I am feeling, I am something else entirely.  Nervous and excited, for instance are very similar feelings…sometimes you may be a bit of both and it can be hard to recognize.

You are NOT your feelings! 

…just because you are feeling something, even very strongly, does NOT mean it defines you in any way. Feelings come and go and often change. Its important if a feeling is overwhelming you to take a step back, breathe, and remind yourself that. Practice saying to yourself  “I have feelings, I am NOT my feelings”


…if a particular feeling seems to be taking over, ask yourself to rate it on a scale of 1 – 10. When you force yourself to analyze and come up with a number, you are using a different  side of your brain and will quickly realize, the number is probably smaller than you thought. Once you have that number, ask yourself to separate out what other feelings may be present. Rate them as well.

Decide how you would like to feel

I realize this one may be hard. With time and practice you will get better at this and it will come more naturally. You CAN choose how you would like to feel. Just knowing its possible will be a new concept for some people. If you try and it does not work, do not be discouraged…simply think about how you currently feel and ask yourself how ELSE you would like to feel. Be open to the idea that you are able to feel many things at once and practice. Mad about something? Stop and ask yourself, can you also feel grateful? Sad? Is there something else you can think of that makes you happy? You may not eliminate one feeling but you can lessen it by acknowledging its not the ONLY way you feel.

Give yourself permission

Sometimes we just need to sulk. It’s okay to feel down. Depending on what is going on in your life, being sad (or any other emotion) may just be how you NEED to feel to mourn something or to move on.  If you allow yourself a few tears, or a day to just feel down you may be on the road to feeling better more quickly than if you try to stuff your emotions.

Be patient with yourself, be kind and give yourself credit for small victories!




P.S. – If you found this post helpful, please share it with others so they can benefit, too!

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9 Responses to I am NOT my feelings| When and how to navigate your feelings

  1. Sharee says:

    Sometimes it is just as simple (or as hard) as deciding to feel differently. That’s something I strive to do daily … my mood definitely affects how well the day goes for everyone in the house! I try always to smile inside and out!

  2. Tiana says:

    I love this article and also all of your advice. E cel lent points! Thank you.

  3. Ruby Uhart says:

    Thank you for this. I definitely have days when I just need to sulk. I usually bottle them up and that’s when I run into the most difficulty.

    • Hope says:

      I think bottling is our way to try and protect ourselves…totally natural (for some) but not where we learn and grow from. I am not very good at bottling things up…sometimes I wish I was. It looks easier, though I am 100% sure its not 🙂

  4. Breaking things down the way you did Hope makes it seem much more manageable.

    I know when I’m feeling stressed, it’s typically because I’m not organized. Once I stop and take a few minutes to get a list of To-Dos, things seem a lot more easier to tackle.

    Thank you – T 🙂

  5. Brianna Nash says:

    For sure, the hardest thing for me is giving myself permission to have my feelings and not try to change them. Sometimes it seems impossible to change them and so I ride them out. Not always fun though haha.

    • Hope says:

      Agreed. The exact opposite of fun. I AM getting better at trying to appreciate what lesson there is (if any) and take comfort in knowing…this too shall pass! 🙂

    • Hope says:

      Yeah, its hard to accept feelings we don’t like, and then to accept that its not just normal, not just ok but sometimes HEALTHY to have them…not easy but help me process it a bit better. I ride them out too, hands in the air, screaming the whole way 😉

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