Allowing others to help you

I had a great conversation today about giving and receiving help.veroxybd.comhttp://aton-mebel.ru

It’s definitely a conversation I’ve had before and its seems like there is a pattern. Most of the people who have a really hard time accepting help are the very kind of people who are the FIRST to offer it. They will bend over backwards and go out of their way to do for others, yet prefer to just keep quiet if they need anything. They would rather silently struggle and smile and say “oh, thanks…no, I’m fine”

I know because I use to be one of those people. It still isn’t easy. I thought it was just because I didn’t want to bother anyone, or trouble them. I thought I just preferred helping because I was so nice 🙂

What I found out was it was because I am a bit of a control freak!

Not that my help is not genuine or heartfelt, it is but when *I* am the person doing…I am in control. When someone is doing for me, I am open and vulnerable and dependent upon someone else. That was big and scary. That felt like giving up control.

What I have learned is that to be WILLING to be open and vulnerable and admit you need help IS strong. If you give people a chance, you will usually be surprised. I have also learned that to allow someone to give you the gift of help is a kindness. If someone loves me and wants to support me, my telling them no is shutting them down.  My pretending “I’ve got this” when I don’t…causes a disconnect when a connection could have happened.

a few steps toward change:

 

Sometimes, life puts you in a situation when you have no choice but to let go and lean into the support of others. Sometimes those situations suck but the love and the grace and the connections are a beautiful gift. And the lesson is there can be tremendous strength in vulnerability.

 

Is reaching out for help hard for you? Is there a situation when you had no choice?

 

Hope FatoHope Fato is a Lifestyle Coach focusing on Health & Wellness. This Mom of 3 strives to help others receive the support they need in making positive changes in their health and in their life. Whether you are struggling physically, financially, or emotionally she is here to help you bring out your BEST inner self and help you achieve real results.

 

P.S. – If you found this post helpful, please share it with others so they can benefit, too!

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5 Responses to Allowing others to help you

  1. Hope great message! I am like you, I’ll figure it out because I don’t want to bother others. What I have realized is that I can get more done in less time when I ask for help when I”m stuck. And people are more than happy to lend a hand.

    Helping others get UN-stuck is very rewarding, but others also like to help back.

    Thank you – T 🙂

  2. charlenereed says:

    I resemble this a bit too much. I’m working on asking for help more and more and really enjoying the help when I get it! Thanks.

  3. Ruby Uhart says:

    I think I am pretty good at accepting help. But I have a hard time asking for it, depending on what it is. Technical and business stuff, I ask right away. But when it comes to more personal stuff, I hesitate to ask…Thank you for your post!!

  4. Brianna Nash says:

    Phew. I definitely need to learn to let go of some things. I need to afford to be able to do it first.

    • Hope says:

      afford as in, hire out? Are there things you might be able to delegate out at work or home that maybe you are holding on

I'd love to hear what your thoughts are