A few weeks ago a friend invited me to bible study. She was quick to say “really its book club at a church and we have never opened a bible, its more like a personal development book club. I don’t even attend the church where its held”rpk-tramplin.ru
“You don’t discuss the bible or god or religion?” I asked, double checking. It’s not that I am like really super opposed to any of those things, its just that I am not interested in them either, not in the traditional sense…or not in what *I* have decided is the traditional sense. Honestly, they use to make me want to run in the opposite direction but I was feeling open and curious.
Of course the first time I went, the only people in attendance are the friend who invited me and the Pastor of the church (who runs the group). Rather than talk about the book we end up talking almost the whole time about God, and Jesus, and the Bible…about religion and ordained women (did I mention the pastor is a really COOOL chick?) and ministry. We talked about different religions and religious history and problems with organized religion.
It was one of the most open and real conversations I have ever had about my beliefs and definitely the most comfortable I have ever felt in asking questions without fear. I sat on a couch in a church and said out loud to a minister that I do not feel comfortable with God.
Religion for me has always been something that I either wished I felt a part of or something I wanted no part of. Its been hard to find some kind of middle ground and many times I have either felt judged or assume I will be. Yet, I pray…
I expressed that if I substitute the Universe in for the word/name/idea of God, I’m all good. It magically transforms it for me. She shared with me that perhaps it was because I was seeing God in the image/definition/form of man and that did not seem big enough for me…I needed something as expansive as The Universe. WOW. I am pretty sure thats a big part of it.
Honestly, I am pretty sure it also has something to do with the fact that we (WE? you? people?) refer to God as The Father. This really makes it even more difficult for me. I do not have a healthy relationship with my father, and a girl with daddy issues just has a hard time with that whole unconditional fatherly love concept…alas, I believe thats a blog post for another day.
Hope Fato is a Lifestyle Coach focusing on Health & Wellness. This Mom of 3 strives to help others receive the support they need in making positive changes in their health and in their life. Whether you are struggling physically, financially, or emotionally she is here to help you bring out your BEST inner self and help you achieve real results.
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